You likely have someone in mind right now, someone who makes you feel frustrated or disrespected.  Talking with confidence can be difficult with mean, frustrating, aggressive, manipulative or down right rude people. No matter how you say it, they make you feel bad about yourself, especially in teen girl friendships.  Learning how to feel confident will help you attract good friends for many years to come!

“Don’t you ever let a soul in the world tell you that you can’t be exactly who you are.”
― Lady Gaga

Love attracts love, and negativity attracts negativity. The more you are around this icky energy, the more your self-esteem and confidence are affected.  Confidence is almost always challenged when you are around this kind of energy. You don’t need it, and lets be honest, you don’t want it.

The worst part is how it feels at the end of the day or when you “replay” the interaction in your brain. Through assertiveness, and awareness, you can start to recognize when teasing becomes toxic and the friend acts more like a frienemy. The first step is to become aware of the way these people affect you. When you notice you feel less confident and more insecure, it could be a sign that this person isn’t so nice.

How to Start Talking With Confidence, Even With Difficult People

This video, from HealthyPlace.com helps to identify the not so nice people in your life.

What Makes it Difficult to Talk With Confidence?

You can cope ahead and feel more confident in any situation by identifying what people and places make you feel more insecure.

To identify toxic people, find the who, what, and why. When you understand these, you are better equipped to handle these situations.

• Who: Which people do I notice are mean with me or that I find difficult to get along with?
• What: Are certain behaviors or tendencies triggering for you? What gets under your skin about this person?
• Why: What makes me feel drawn to them, or how come I continue to be around them? Is it due to a situation I can’t avoid (family, group of friends, school or work?)? Is it because I feel guilty or afraid? Start to think about how they manage to stay present in your life.

Take Care,

Em

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Emily Roberts MA, LPC is The Guidance Girl. Her goal is to help YOU become the most confident person you know! Emily is an award-winning author Express Yourself: A Teen Girls Guide to Speaking Up and Becoming Who You Are, Psychotherapist, TV & Media Contributor, Educational Speaker, and parenting consultant. She travels around the country educating girls, women, and parents. Express Yourself is available at bookstores nationwide and on Amazon. To learn more about Emily click here.