What’s Her Secret? 9 Things A Confident Woman Does Differently

  • Do you ever wonder why some women seem more confident than others? Here are 9 secrets you can learn from that a confident woman already knows.

Do you ever wonder what makes some women more confident than others? What are her secrets? A confident woman doesn’t just appear, she works at it and you can too. Easy habits and shifts in mindset make women confident and feeling secure no matter what the world throws at them. We’ve talked to many confident women and good news is you can learn from their secrets right now. 

When you start to act confident, others respect you. This is a fact. Look at how these confident women believe in themselves and put themselves first. I bet you can think of one or two women in your life that are confident and want to know their secrets right? Here are the secrets of a confident woman.

9 Secrets of A Confident Woman

  • A confident women - woman drinking coffeeShe doesn’t make excuses. A highly confident woman takes ownership of her mistakes. She doesn’t blame the outside world for the way she has acted. If she happens to be running late, she doesn’t blame the line at the coffee shop or traffic but instead takes ownership for her tardiness. She owns up to what she has done wrong and how she has acted, and does not let it affect the rest of her day.

“When I’m not feeling my best I ask myself, ‘What are you gonna do about it?’ I use the negativity to fuel the transformation into a better me.”
— Beyoncé Knowles, Complex

  • She is authentic. Some of the best mentors I’ve had admit their shortcomings or provide examples of how they have made mistakes. “This week I got really irritated with someone. I was frustrated for a while and even expressed it, but then here is how I handled it . . .” A confident woman doesn’t act like she is perfect because she knows everyone has flaws All humans are imperfect, own it. That’s authentic and beautiful.
  • a confident woman - running on the treadmillShe takes care of her mind, body and spirit.
    She makes her body her temple. She is aware that good health is paramount to feeling confident and self-assured. She is aware that if she doesn’t get enough rest or vital nutrients, she won’t be on her “game.” Healthy choices are often priorities as they help confident women stay focused and keep them from getting sick. A confident woman is mindful or meditates to get centered and uses working out as a way to relieve stress, not to try and have the perfect body.

“I don’t really care what I look like that much, and I think women out there should just be happy with the way they look. They shouldn’t really try to conform to any kind of stereotype. Just be happy and hopefully healthy.”
— Rebel Wilson Elle, Oct. 2013

  • a confident woman - girl walking with luggageShe embraces change.Change is inevitable; everyone has to adjust to it. A confident woman knows this and problem solves, instead of reacts. After getting over the initial shock, she looks at change as an opportunity, not as a fear. She knows she can’t predict the future, so she attempts to avoid focusing on the worry and practices staying in the “now.” She doesn’t look to the past with heavy nostalgia or focus too strongly in the worries of the future. Instead, she focuses on the “here” and “now.”
  • She doesn’t assume, she asks. If someone didn’t do their part of a project, a confident woman doesn’t automatically take it on or think “gosh this guy is so lazy.” Instead, she takes action. She talks to the person first so that it does get done. She asks, “How can I help you?” or, “Is there something we can do as a group to assist you?” instead of making judgments or assuming the worst. She problem solves in order to get things done.
  • a confident woman - woman doing yogaShe puts “Me” before “We.” A confident woman knows the difference between being a people-pleaser and a helpful friend or partner. She puts the oxygen mask on first so that she can take care of herself and then have the power to take care of others. Self-care isn’t selfish, its imperative.
  • She tries not to compare. If she sees a girl sitting next to her with a brand new expensive bag, a confident woman will say, “that’s nice she can afford that” instead of, “how did she afford that? I bet she doesn’t even have to work as hard as me. It’s so unfair.” She notices when she is on the path to judgment and, instead, tries to make observations. A confident woman knows judgments only lower her self-esteem.
  • a confident woman - group drinking champagne She celebrates others’ successes. A confident woman knows that she is not competing with others; she understands that we are all in it together. Sure, there are people that are competitive and egocentric, but those people aren’t confident; they are insecure and aggressive. A confident woman will celebrate other peoples’ accomplishments and learn how they did it right. Instead of comparing herself to others or succumbing to jealousy and envy.

“Think like a queen. A queen is not afraid to fail. Failure is another stepping stone to greatness.”
— Oprah Winfrey, Business Insider

  • a confident woman - reading a magazineShe can be alone. A confident women doesn’t need to be connected all the time. In fact she knows that time alone is imperative for reconnecting with her goals. She doesn’t want to be on her phone 24/7. In fact, a confident woman embraces alone time as an opportunity to reflect and create, not worry and obsess. There is no need to fill her every minute with others, Facebook feeds or too much TV. Sometimes a nap or a walk without technology can do wonders for her.


We all have been conditioned to think or act in particular ways. These secrets of confident women can be integrated into your life, one at a time. Start by becoming aware of the areas you are having trouble with and notice what you want to change. The more awareness you have about what isn’t working the more power you have to bring in more skills and feel more confident in the process.


Take Good Care,



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Emily Roberts MA, LPC is The Guidance Girl. Her goal is to help YOU become the most confident person you know! Emily is an award-winning author Express Yourself: A Teen Girls Guide to Speaking Up and Becoming Who You Are, Psychotherapist, TV & Media Contributor, Educational Speaker, and parenting consultant. She travels around the country educating girls, women, and parents. Express Yourself is available at bookstores nationwide and on Amazon. To learn more about Emily click here.

About the Author:

Emily Roberts, M.A., LPC is a Psychotherapist, Parenting Consultant, Educational Speaker and Published Author. Her Book Express Yourself: A Teen Girls Guide to Speaking Up and Becoming Who You Are was published by New Harbinger Publications. The Guidance Girl is a concept created by Emily as an innovative, powerful approach to help you achieve goals and feel your best by redefining traditional therapy for the girls and women of today.

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