Do you have low self-esteem? Low self-esteem affects more people than you think. You may find that being alone with yourself is uncomfortable, that you feel anxious or uneasy with other people, or that your mind is filled with negative self-talk. This is no way to live your life and the good news is, you can change your self-esteem.Low self-esteem refers to how you feel about yourself overall. Indicators of low self-esteem include:
- talking negativel
- not speaking up
- feeling bad about yourself more than you feel good
- lack of self-respect
There are many different characteristics of low self-esteem. They may not be as obvious as one would assume. You, too, may be struggling with low-self esteem and don’t even know it.
Signs of Low Self-Esteem
Comparing, gossiping about others, putting others first, even excessive Facebook or Instagram stalking are all signs of low-self esteem. You may say you do these things to stay connected or because you tell yourself, “I want to.” The truth is, when one is content with themselves, they have healthy self-esteem; external validation is simply an additive, not a necessity to their lives. A person with healthy self-esteem spends the bulk of their time doing things that promote positive vibes for themselves and others
Characteristics of Low Self-Esteem
Heavy criticism of yourself or others. When you criticize yourself, you are reinforcing negative self-talk. Your brain hears this and believes it. When you criticize others, it shows that you are mirroring how you feel about yourself. Have you ever noticed that happy, positive people don’t gossip? They have enough self-regard to keep these thoughts to themselves or to change them into positive, loving comments.
Perfectionism. No one is perfect. This is a fact. If you try to do everything perfectly and fail (which is bound to happen), frustration and negative self-talk occur.
People Pleasing. It’s nice to be nice. It’s also a problem when you consistently put others before yourself. Going out of your way to constantly be there for someone else, builds up resentment and is a constant reminder to yourself that you are not number one. One must put their health and mental health first in order to be the best they can be for everyone else in their lives.
Debby Downer. If you have seen the famous Saturday Night Live skit, you know what I’m referring to. A Debby Downer is someone who always looks at life pessimistically; nothing is ever good enough. There is always something to complain about. A Debby Downer has a general negative outlook and this pessimism creates low-self esteem and feelings of unhappiness.
These are only a few characteristics of low self-esteem. If you can identify the characteristics of low self-esteem, the next step is to change the way you think about yourself and how you handle things in your life. This will lead to more positive self-talk and experiences that can radically boost your self-esteem into a positive and beautiful place.
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Emily Roberts MA, LPC is The Guidance Girl. Her goal is to help YOU become the most confident person you know! Emily is an award-winning author Express Yourself: A Teen Girls Guide to Speaking Up and Becoming Who You Are, Psychotherapist, TV & Media Contributor, Educational Speaker, and parenting consultant. She travels around the country educating girls, women, and parents. Express Yourself is available at bookstores nationwide and on Amazon. To learn more about Emily click here.